The Sound of Flowing Water

EDITION

2025, Shortlisted

school

Fotografika Academy, Moscow, Russia

links

@fedya.kabanov ↗

Ten years ago, my grandmother began to develop dementia, and I, as a teenager, encountered the reality of madness. I struggled to understand her as she forgot her name and became aggressive. This painful experience left me wondering: does she realize she is losing herself? When we asked her to be quiet, she would scream, provoking our anger and her laughter. I vividly remember having to barricade my bedroom door when she threatened me with a knife. As her condition worsened, she could only lie or sit in bed. I moved from house to house, seeking silence while grappling with love and anger that filled me with shame. Sitting beside her as she moaned and insisted she was burning, all I could do was hold her hand. I wrapped her in a blanket like a cocoon, imagining her as a butterfly ready to take flight. Sometimes, when she smiled, I felt a flicker of love for her. My project explores life with one suffering from dementia, conveying deep emotions of despair and love through photography. Blurry images and expired film reflect the changes in our perception of time and memory, inviting conversations about love when a person loses identity.